Manicures, sisters and a troubling world.

My sister is the best ever. Seriously, not even like just as a sister, as a person. She may not be active in the church, but she is going to heaven for sure! I am so lucky that I am able to have her in my life. Her job, and my school schedule have kind of worked together nicely this semester. She is able to watch L. on Thursday for a few hours while I have a morning class. And Tuesday, since I don't have a class until evening, we are able to have a sort of sister day (with L of course!). This last week, we went and had manicures! Aside from the spa not really having anything together, we were there for 3 hours, it was a wonderful day! L even got her nails done. Words can not describe how much I love spending time with her. We have things that we don't see eye to eye on. And heaven knows I am far from being a great sister. I can only hope to try and be like her. There are so many things that I do not know how to write about. I have very strong feelings about certain things that I know others have very strong feelings about. I am not willing to budge on them. It is what it is. I have learned how to rather than cause a fight, just be there. The world is changing so much. So many great things are coming of it. But so many terrible things are happening too. And I think that the majority of the changes are bad. It's hard to stay strong. And ever more hard to raise a family with strong values and keep them together and following the faith. There are so many days while watching, ok, listening, to the news that I am terrified for the future. Prayer and faith. There are so many things that I am constantly learning. I am grateful that I have the Book of Mormon and the knowledge of faith to help me through even day to day.

Rough week and Harry Potter.

This last week has been a bit rough. By rough I mean it really has been. I feel like I am maybe not doing as well in school as I would like. My daughter was sick a couple days with a low grade fever. Which if you have kids you know that that means no daycare. Which as frustrating as that may be, I am grateful for that. Because even though I am pretty positive that hers is just from her 2 year old molars, what if it isn't. I wouldn't want to spread any other germs. That means for me that I can either choose to skip class, which truth be told staying in bed sounded super nice, (especially since I am NOT a morning person) or I take her to class with me. Since my group had a presentation even though it wasn't big, I chose to take her with me. For some I know that that super annoys them. Especially since she is now in her toddler years. And for some toddlers, they are kinda wild. I am grateful that she is such a wonderful little girl so that I can go to school and be blessed to be her mama. Tonight we went to a Harry Potter thing at Lehi Hutchings Museum. I won the tickets a few months ago in a contest So I decided to go since it was free it couldn't be all that bad. They had live owls! They were so cute! I have learned that she loves owls just as much as I do. She was so happy. She's always so happy. I watch her when I'm with her and I wish I could see the world how she see's it. Seriously, I wish I could see the world through the eyes of a child. I love learning, but it is not the same when I learn something and when she does. She is so excited. And happy and smiling. She makes my world a better place. I would not change it at all. She literally makes me LOL. Like all the time she makes me laugh. She is the most kind hearted, sweet, gentle person that I have ever met. I try to be like her. That is my goal. That should be our goal right, to be better? Thank heaven for the gospel and the atonement. Thank heavens for repentance because I don't know where I would be without it.

Fear and Dating

The things I say I say only from what I have experienced. I am not speaking for all parents, I have never parented with another parent so I can't speak for those that have two parties involved. I don't mean to cause offense to anyone. So if I do, I'm sorry. Dating. Hmmm, dating. With this subject, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Dating has changed so much in even just the past few years. And even more since I was in High School. Dating is kind of hard. Who calls who first, and how long do you wait to call? Now everyone has phones! We don't have to wait for our turn on the phone. Wait until a member of our family gets off of the internet so that we can wait for the ring. Do they like me? Did I talk too much? Haha, oh it was so much easier. Now bring a little child into it. I would spend every second of every day with my little girl. And for the most part, I do. It makes you think twice about who and what are worth your time. I'm sure that I am probably a little over board with this, but I don't think that just anyone deserves my time over her. Sometimes I wonder if I should let loose a little. I mean I haven't been on a date in over 2 years. Like at all. I haven't even been asked. That's a little sad, maybe a lot sad. But I have been there for my daughter. I don't meet people. Don't get me wrong. I have friends. I have male friends. And I talk to them. But I don't know how to flirt. I don't know how to flirt while I have a little girl at home. Do you want to know what I really think it all boils down to? FEAR! Fear of being hurt again. Fear of hurting someone. Fear of what is next. Fear of the unknown. I guess we just wait. I just have to keep on being me. And do my best to be the best mom I can be. And trust that the Lord has a plan and I just don't know it yet.

When was the last time

Do you have kids?  When was the last time you watched a child? I mean really just watched them. What are they doing?  What are they thinking?  What wonder of this world are they learning this day, this moment?  When was the last time you just put your phone down and watched.  Don't get me wrong.  I love having my phone.  I shouldn't as much as I do, but none the less I it's always with me.  As is my daughter.  I love that I always have a camera at my fingertips.  And not just for stills, but I can get video with it as well!  When I was little, I remember my mom running to try and find the camcorder when a child was doing something fun.  I know we missed getting a lot of moments on tape just because of how inconvenient it was to always have to lug around the massive piece of equipment that it was back then.  I also love that I have the ability to share the pictures that I take with my family and friends immediately whether it be on Facebook or Instagram or just sending a message.  We truly have the world at our fingertips.  I have games on my phone for my daughter to play when I need a few moments to finish something.  And even she knows how to unlock the phone and take selfies.  Which, by the way, are way better than mine!  But with all the wonders of having that lovely device, it also makes it way too easy to get distracted.  It is way to easy to hop on really quick and play a game of solitaire, or whatever your game of choice might be.  I have found myself numerous times playing a game while I'm also playing with my daughter.  Which I know I need to do better at not doing.
Now, being a student, and a single mom, my life is full of double duties.  I am constantly multitasking.  Sometimes it is almost a necessity.  But is it really necessary for me to play a game rather than playing a game with my child.  Some will argue that for their sanities sake, yes it is a necessity.  And maybe it is.  But I don't think it should be as much as we allow it.  Even at the park I notice that there are so many that are so focused on their phones I wonder if they notice just how many wood chips their child has eaten. We live in such a fast paced world, where honestly, it is sometimes hard to keep up.  But why can't we enjoy a few moments.  We take it for granted the things we have around us.  Yes, I know we have seen the seasons before because we are older.  But why not trying to look at it through a toddler, or any child's eyes?  Remember, everything is new to them.  They might have already been through the fall season once or twice before, but last year, they could only crawl through the leaves.  Now, they can run through them.  Now, they can see and identify the birds and animals around them.  When it snows, they will be able to walk through it, without having to hold someone's hand this time.  Everything they are doing they are learning.  Constantly watching, and taking it all in.  Even with day to day things.  From learning how to feed themselves, to helping to prepare dinner.  Watch and see how they enjoy it. Even the hard things, like falling because they were just so sure they could climb the stairs like mommy (or daddy) does.  They imitate everything.  Just the other morning, my daughter was playing with my makeup brushes and by golly, she was putting them on her face in the right places.  I thought I had a few more years before the makeup part came.  She was thrilled with herself that she was doing it.  How is it that life has changed so much and we don't appreciate the difficult tasks put before us now.  We are so easily distracted and we don't really seem to mind.  But are our kids missing out on anything because of that?
I am so very far from being a perfect mother.  I will never claim to be that.  And I am not meaning to put anyone down with this post.  I just know that to me, I think my daughter deserves a little bit more of my FULL attention.  And if that means that I have to dig around for a second to catch something on video rather than always having it in my hand, I will.  She is so amazing, and is always learning.  I don't want her to remember me always being on my phone.  I want her to remember that I would play with her.  Yes sometimes, I will have to be on the phone, or computer, because as adults, we have to do things that have to be done.  She is my world, and far more important to me than anything else.

P.S.  Did you get to watch General Conference?  Have you ever watched or rather tried to watch it with a 2 year old.  Oh what a joy that was.  No seriously, she was a gem.  She danced with every musical number.  And knelt when she heard the prayers.  It was such a wonderful conference.  If you didn't get to watch it, you still can!  They have it online.  And soon it will be out in print.

Here we are!

Every day begins with smiles and giggles.  Well most days.  Every day I go to bed completely exhausted.  But I wouldn't change it for the world.  Even the worst days (which really aren't that bad) when I look into my little girls eyes and she tells me she loves me, or when she remembers and reminds me that we need to say our prayers before bed, it all goes away and everything is right again.  The world we live in today is terrifying.  Now raising a child in a world like this, makes it even scarier.  Yes, this is a mommy blog.  A mommy blog from a single, LDS momma who knows that there will be many days that I fall short of what I should be.  But who is trying her very hardest to raise her little girl in the gospel of Jesus Christ while being a mommy and going to school at LDSBC.   Raising a toddler never has dull moments, every one of them, I wouldn't change for anything.  

A little more about us.  I am attending Latter-Day Saints Business College, full time.  And I am a mommy to a very wonderful, very smart almost 2 year old. We invite you to follow us, I will be sharing the good, bad and the wonderful, I hope that this blog can be of some help somewhere for someone else. If you are interested in learning more about what LDS is, please join us tomorrow for General Conference to hear beautiful words from our Leaders.  You can view it online at https://www.lds.org